On some days you feel like you’re the happiest, luckiest person alive.
Today isn’t one of the days.
You know that feeling when you want something, it dangles in front of you precariously, yet because of certain reasons, that particular thing can only dangle in front of you without you able to do anything about it?
That is the feeling I’m going through right as this moment. When someone who means the world to you, is sitting just… directly opposite of you, but you can only, you must, you have to suppress those feelings, the onrush of insanity towards your brain?
I’m pretty sure that those positive feelings will lead to somewhere negative if I don’t try to suppress it.
I see you. Yet, despite of what I have for you, I can only sit here.
Perhaps in a million years things will be different, perhaps I don’t have to wait that long. Hopefully I don’t have to wait that long. I don’t think I have a million years to wait.
I like you. But for the death of me, I’m slowly losing the strength and courage to do these kind of crazy, insane and stupid things. I don’t know what I’m doing now. I’m supposed to be working on my school stuff. Seems like just being near you distracts me like mad.
Not good. I really need to concentrate like mad if I really want to improve on my studies. I guess a lot of people have a certain amount of influence over me. Like as if they can control me, or as if each person holds a different string to control this puppet. So tired.
I don’t like the feeling of me missing you. Even more so if it’s just me missing you and not the other way round..