The cherry on the gloomy sundae.

Its the final lap of this round. Time to get it, over and done with.

Not every single day of your life is glorious and worthy of sunshine.

Some days, rain and sleet is all you will get.

As my days get withered and gray, so does my strength and will gets empowered.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Over the course of the past one year, I’ve seen more of man than I ever have in my entire life. Everyday, there’s someone in need of help.

What about those who needs help, yet refuses to know that they are drowning? What about those who struggle, yet with each struggle are dragged even deeper?

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Irrelevance.

They say that a picture speaks a thousand words. But what power does it hold, when compared to words, sentences and phrases. Just with words, can we paint colours that even the mind could not comprehend, sounds that even your ears can never pick up, sights that your eyes can never behold.

Some days, we need to make time for ourselves. Not time to do duties, but simply time to relax and put ourselves at ease. Many a beauties lie in this world, and not a lifetime is sufficient for us to grasp them all.

Take some time, and feed your mind. Do things that cheer yourself up. Things that give your life pause.

Humans are creature of the moment, but seldom of this.

Dwelled are the times in the past, worrying about the grievances of yesterday, irrelevant as yesterday’s weather.

Worried are the times that have yet to come, troubling about the sadness of tomorrow, imminent but not yet relatable.

What about now? Today, right now, you are you. Take heart and enjoy, bask in the moment.

Because, you are here.

Cyclical.

Progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged.

I find content in what I am doing, but not satisfaction. Can I confuse the two? I doubt so.

I daresay it is a good thing that I am putting more effort into my studies, but I find no joy in it. Imaging dragging yourself with steel chained to your feet. Burdensome.

I found this mysterious hype to study, even though I don’t know what, and I certainly still don’t enjoy doing it.

Looking back, I really miss secondary school life. I miss writing compositions and essays. I guess, there are even less chances for me to flourish my command of English. Oh boy do I miss it.

Thin as ice, tough as steel. Watch your step, care your heel. The days that we live in are treacherous and evil.

Like this.

Every day is fit for you to be happy, but not every day would you feel happy. Some days, you don’t even want to be happy at all.

Some days, you rather the vacuum inside you to manifest and take hold of you.

Not all every single word should be said, but you didn’t say a single word at all. Saying too much is as bad as saying too little. Saying everything is as bad as saying everything.

I guess, Chinese New Year seems like a period whereby you’re supposed to be happy, because hey, new year right? Alas, no. I’d guess that I’m just kind of tired of late. Several things just don’t quite make me as interested as I should be.

So, how’s CNY for you so far? Collected all your ang baos and such? I’m not doing that well in that aspect though, pretty lazy. Though I digress, it’s really great spending time with some relatives whom I would only see during this time of each year.

To be honest, can’t think of anything much to update about. There’s quite some negativity inside of  me that I haven’t been able to dispel of late, and it seems to be sucking away whatever happiness I manage to find.

I think I am able to be thankful for certain things in my life for the past week or so, but I don’t really want to go into detail about it. Let’s just say that I am grateful for some people that I am seldom thought I would appreciate that much.

I can’t really think of anything more to say. Oh well.

 

Lots of love,

God bless,

Tona.