Caught between a hard place and a rock.
What to do?
You’re looking back into the past, and forward into the future.
Look back and find yourself tunneling into the past. Look forward and see yourself catapulted into the coming.
Yet what comes, what doesn’t. What will, what won’t. What will be, what wouldn’t.
I truly appreciate what you are to me, right now. But then again, the way I see it, it is pretty fragile. And who
am I to say that I won’t just lose everything overnight, like that?
I’m scared, I have fears, I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that all of this will come to naught, and what mattered will no longer be.
I’m afraid to lose you.
I’ve come to understand that you’re different as well. I’ve come to know that you’re outstanding.
That just makes it more scary for me. Feels like I really am caught between a rock and a hard place.
To be honest, haven’t been posting recently. The way things are, I’m afraid that things will change for the
worse, and I cannot imagine how things are like, should things change for the better.
And for you, I simply do not wish to intervene. I don’t want to say anything, make any more inferences,
interfere with anybody. I cannot see what will happen next, and sometimes, I simply do not wish to.
Too many things. Everything is in a mess.
But I can’t seem to be able to sort things out, either. Maybe I don’t want to.
Maybe because the clarity of thought will let me see what I dread, know what I fear.
Maybe that’s why.
Because one day, someday, maybe everything will come crashing down.
Then, what gives?
As if they did not matter.