Do you love me?
In my own crazy little way, I’m kinda happy. That for the first time, there’s no longer a part of me clinging to the hope. No longer a part of me just waiting to see if i hit the lottery. And that means for the first time in years, the world is full of possibilities.
It’s not something you give a glance to when you’re free. It demands your entire attention, your wholeheartedness. Your devotion. And the lack thereof is less than desirable.
Now? Now, finally, in years, you’re having second thoughts. You say you don’t want this to happen. But you did not even try to make me stay.
What were you thinking?
Rather, what was I thinking?
You never knew, but the past is always there to haunt us. Not you, not me but us. If I was willing to put it to rest, why can’t you?
Why are you, or rather, were you so adamant about it, about her?
Words fail me. The way you did me.
The thought is supposedly there, but the actions are lacking.
But the saddest thing, was that you just stood watching.
Even when it was crumbling, even when I was struggling.
And you did nothing.
Nothing to save it.
Nothing to rectify.
Nothing but just watched.
But then, I am sorry. Sorry that now you’re just watching from the sidelines.
I am sorry. Are you?