Ain’t all that easy

Pink Clouds Here

Heard this old song over the radio. So much feels.
“只要是偶尔回首过去
在记忆里 还有甜蜜
能这样就可以”

Haven’t done anything productive today… Not to mention other days. Or perhaps this whole year. Ugh…

God bless me. I feel safe when I think and KNOW that everything will be fine in the end.
What’s the worse that can happen… One more unnecessary year, do I have a choice? Do I?
I actually do, but then again I don’t anymore. S I G H P I E school life can I just be a writer or a poet please I SWEAR I CAN WRITE

The wind blows
Memories of you
The rain falls
Much time has passed
It never snows ; nothing ever stays the same

I was kidding bye 😦

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I..

..want to change all this. All of our lousy, detrimental flaws, for something far greater, far better, far bigger, something from faraway.

I.. want to.

But I can’t..

Oh to be like You,

Give all I have just to know you.

Jesus, there’s no one besides You,

Forever the hope in my heart.

年少时候,谁没有梦。

无意之中,你将心願透露

We all have a dream..

To be big, to be rich, to be powerful.

There’s nothing I rather want, than to be with you.

I need this..

I..

Need you.

Inscribed.

With everyday..

With every moment..

I can feel you falling closer. 

But fall, you will. It’s been a long time since, but I can really see, can really say that I’m ready to catch you.

Just waiting for the tipping point.

Waiting for the moment to come, that one moment that will be forever inscribed into our hearts.

And let them flutter.

Hindsight.

As I stroll down memory lane, both physical and metaphorical ones, I can’t help but see the old in the new. The past among the changes.

And it hurts me. It hurts me knowing that people are too eager in throwing away memories for new things.

It’s not a bad thing. But I had expected certain people to hold more value in what once was. So many things happened.

I’m just glad that certain things are not due for a change just yet.

You used to be an epitome, an exemplar.

Maybe you’re too egoistic. But for the death of me, we’ll never find out.

Googly.

Every time I think of you, or am reminded of you, I’m excited, happy.

Happy that I got to know you. And even though its been a while, and things weren’t always smooth for us, I’m still quite excited to know you.

I find you a panacea to my malaise.

Did I say something that made you run? Scared? It’s annoying that I have to try so hard to figure you out. And it’s nerve wrecking.

But I won’t pretend that I’m more than able to filter you out. And be my guest and return the favour.

Some days, other people just know which buttons to press to annoy me.

Generally.

Every time that I am up earlier than usual, I have this little habit, a morning ritual whereby I’ll just go and poke through random WordPress posts on my reader.

I think it’s good, helps me to sober up from drowsiness. But sometimes, it reminds you with a sharp clarity about what are the things that others go through in their lives.

We might never understand how God works, but do we need to? I just need to know that He’s God, and that’s more than enough for me.

And while the layers of irony stack upon each other, I’ll laugh at it full in the face.

The chances of it not happening is so apt, that it actually occurred.

And I’m still quite caught off guard. Doesn’t mean that the tension isn’t alleviated, at least not for me.

… I still feel this invisible pressure still. Am I pressuring myself?

And I can tell, that something still haunts you. What that is, I know not. But it does not spare you of the agony, either.

You me both.

何去何从?

A joke

Pink Clouds Here

I feel like… I’ve made a joke out of my own life.
Every bad decision that I’ve made makes me detest myself even more.
And these decisions puts a ‘stain’ in my life that I can never, ever, rid of.

I can be sure now that I don’t want to do this.
Why do people even worry or care about their future so much?
Is there any point in that? If yes, I just can’t see it.
Whether I get my degree or not, it does NOT matter to me as much.
What matters is being happy.
Yes. Being happy is all that matters. Nothing else.

And I know that I’m daring enough to make this decision, but there’s no doubt that this is gonna be yet another mistake made by me.

I don’t hope to feel better after taking naps anymore, but still I sleep. At least eating and…

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