Even more.

I just miss the simpler days where we just sat, where nothing else mattered in the world except for one another.

Is this what I get? For choosing one instead of the other?

I don’t want to choose for this. This is the worst thing ever.

Where are You? If I can’t find You there, maybe it’s too much to ask to seek You here.

The last bit.

Everything in my life is unstable. You’re one of the few things that I could count on. And I don’t really wanna mess that up.

You have no idea how many HIMYM quotes have floated through my mind the past few months, trying so desperately to find something that I could cling on to.

But I don’t know if it holds. The strongest reminder it gives me is that no matter what happens, something good could be waiting just right around the corner.

But on the darker days, I really feel myself losing hope and losing faith in myself. I feel like I’m not the man I used to be, and I’ll never be the same, ever again.

When you tore me a new one, I knew that the old me was gone for good. I’m still trying to figure out what this means for me, or who this is. But it’s taking far too long.

I am tired and frustrated and exasperated at my current disposition. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, I’ve been blinded and cheated by false hopes.

If there was ever a part where I stopped believing, where faith takes a hit, where I really want to give up, this is pretty darn close to it.

So wherever you are, please work your magic, soon.

Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide.

Trials.

I really don’t know now.

The more people I talk to, the more confused I get.

Am I doing something wrong? I know I cannot remain status quo but I don’t know what else to do besides this.

I thought that I could do it, but I can’t. I really can’t.

For what advantaged is a man, if he gain the whole world but lose his soul?

Everything around me feels like it’s imploding on itself and I am totally clueless how did things end up this way.

I am at an absolute loss and I see no outright correct way for me to undertake, but I cannot risk more than that is of myself.

Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide.

But where are you? Why do I not hear or feel you? At this absolute deject worst, yet what can I do beside to cry out and to seek you?