Terrible.

I realised that I became a terrible person after that breakup. I’ve been a terrible terrible person, doing all the bad things and getting around with all the wrong things.

For the longest time ever, I realised I was very angry at you. Then I realised that by a far off comparison, you must be a lot more angry at me then I ever can be with you.

Ultimately, in a selfish and sad way, deep down I know it’s worse for me than you. Because whilst I’ve been more terrible by comparison, I realised that you no longer care, while I still do.

And because of that, the yoke will never be equal.

It never was, and it never will be.

But all things considered, does it really matter anymore?

Alive.

Everytime, I will always think back to that moment of that night.

I can’t see anything or have the strength to do anything.

I just remember people holding me.

Hands upon me.

Someone pressed their head against mine.

Voices of people seeing His praise over me.

In that moment, God is tangible.

Truly, I never have felt His presence stronger than that moment.

I can never say that God doesn’t exist.

Because in that single moment, I felt His love and grace and spirit lavish over me through those He placed around me.

In that moment, I will always remember being held in God’s embrace.