Lost. Again.

Maybe I don’t wanna be saved the trouble. Maybe I want the trouble. I haven’t wanted the trouble in a long time, but with you, the trouble doesn’t seem so troubling. I don’t know, I thought… I guess I thought you felt the same way.

Maybe I do. I don’t know. I’m not exactly the biggest confronter of feelings. I mean, clearly there something between us. Maybe my head was saying: “Nip it in the bud”, because my heart was saying something else. Look, I have feelings for you. Maybe I even love you.

I am a little disappointed I suppose. At myself for not handling things better. At letting things go out of hand when I could have dealt with it better. Feelings are a little overwhelming and perhaps it did got the better of me.

Still, I am sad that things have taken such a turn. I just want things to stay as it is, as much as childish and ideal that is. Because I know that it will be ridiculously hard for things to.. come together. But what else can I do?

I don’t know.


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