Not again.

I cannot think of any HIMYM quotes or verses or song lyrics or simply any words that can accurately describe what I am feeling now.

I am lost. Again. For the umpteenth time these few weeks.

Do I know why this is happening to me? Yeah, sure, kinda.

Can I do anything about it? Technically, yes. Effectively? No, I would hate myself, even if it does mean that it is causing me blistering pain and agony in the moment.

Yet, I cannot tell myself or anyone why I am holding on. I feel pain and sadness in every breath that I take as long as the matter is not resolved and the issue is at hand. Maybe I am giving myself false hope, not being willing or strong enough to just.. shatter it.

I have no idea who I should consult about this and it burns within me and gnaws at me.

I am lost beyond reason.

So please. If you have any idea what I can do about my current predicament, I beg of you, help me.


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