Breathe.

But love doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.

Life isn’t too bad if you don’t look too closely at it I suppose. The place here is really something, in no means a holiday, but it’s relatively enjoyable I suppose. One of the NJs here is really.. cute? I don’t know her except for her name and the fact that she’s an officer, hah. But I feel like I am dying a little inside every time she seem to smile at me even though she have no reason to remember or know me except for the few times we bumped into each other in the lifts and what not. A little EC, pretty harmless I suppose?

Which reminds me. There’s a little talk about what is to come and I really think that I am ready to commit again, hopefully within the same field as I did previously. But, I guess I am a little worried. Given what our previous.. disagreement was about, I am a little afraid what this means for us and if we will ever get over it or not? If I am being completely honest with myself, I wonder if there is any ‘we’ left out of the circumstances. It’s not like I don’t feel anything for you. It’s just.. where do I stand?

Welp, looking too closely into things again. I have lesser and lesser time for my current project but I already am having ideas to do another one together with this concurrently, even though I suspect this existing one probably will take donkey years and will never have an end. More things to distract myself, I guess. Lord knows I could use a little distraction to ease the waiting.

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