Like here in this bar there’s only one thing that I see and I see her brighter and more clearly than anything else in this world. You know what that is, that’s love. 

Marshall Eriksen



Barney: I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly, I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life, I’m a guy who thought love was just something idiots felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times when I wanted to. It has been overwhelming and humbling, and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I’m hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.

And I do love her. I am hopelessly, irretrievably and irrevocably in love with her. I will do anything for her, to make her happy. She wants me to stay and I will not move. She wants me to go and I will leave. I reached that point whereby what she wants totally and completely overrides all that I want. It does not matter what I am looking for. All I know is her, and that whatever she wants, I will give it to her.

Does it make me a fool? An idiot? A moron?

I am afraid.

But even if making her heart whole means me breaking my own heart and using my own heart pieces to fill her voids, I will ask you what is the best way to break myself.

Hello my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life, I’m the whisper inside that wont let you forget
Hello my name is defeat
I know you recognize me
Just when you think you can win
I’ll drag you right back down again
’till you lost all belief
Oh these are the voices
Oh these are the lies
And I have believed in for the very last time
Hello my name is child of the one true king
I’ve been saved
I’ve been changed
I have been set free
Amazing grace is the song I sing
Hello my name is child of the one true king

What should I do with these feelings?
Throw them away? They are too strong to.
Move on? I’m a little too weak to.
Act on them? I’m not allowed to.

Being caught between a rock and a hard place, that must be easier.


I look back at so many things. Old things are fascinating. We look at where we come from and we see where we are going.

I feel a little tugging, from the past. From the old things.

Sometimes, the old things make it into the present and they become something new.

People who didn’t work out and they manage to be your friends. And friends who now are nothing but familiar strangers.

Funny how life comes around in ways we never expect them to.

Today, I went to look at my readers. It’s a little sad, that after years, all my previous writing friends, WordPress readers, writers and people I met along the way stopped writing and reading on here.

It feels like they moved on and forgotten this little passion we used to share.

I found some very inspirational writers of late and they are something I want to be like, to maybe model my own WordPress after theirs.

I hope someday I can be a full-time writer. I don’t intend to stay in the navy for life, maybe the most part of it.

Is it delusional? Sometimes I feel like I have what it takes, sometimes I feel like I don’t. And I still am a little.. shy over what I write. It’s something I know I want to keep in my life, to read and to write.

So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.

-N. H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society

I want to do.. many things.

To travel, to read, to write, to eat, to meet people, to explore, to discover, to try new things, to find new experiences and to love.

In a way, I suppose that my life of adventure is still early and there’s a lot of things waiting for me. I cannot find all the adventure in this place I am yet. The world is so big, I want to belong to all parts of it and none of it at the same time.

I can’t wait to see what happens next! Oh, wait… yes I can.

King of States!

Did you have a day where it seemed as though everything you did was either wrong, or stupid, or shitty? Are you ending your night feeling like the world’s crappiest person?

If so, please come over and join my pity party. There is bourbon. I don’t like bourbon, so someone has to drink it. Thank you and good night.

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I found myself dreaming
In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie
That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight
And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we’re not promised tomorrow

So I’m gonna love you
Like I’m gonna lose you
I’m gonna hold you
Like I’m saying goodbye wherever we’re standing
I won’t take you for granted ’cause we’ll never know when
When we’ll run out of time so I’m gonna love you
Like I’m gonna lose you
I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you