Pause

I haven’t written so much in a day since 3 years or even 4 years ago when I just started out on this.

But I realised that as the emotional, mental or even spiritual stress starts climbing up over my head, the more I will write.

And I am tired.

Over a span of the past half a year, I have felt more alive in ages. I also have felt even more tired than anything else in my entire life.

I have no idea how is that even possible but apparently it is.

I guess I am a person big enough to acknowledge the fact that I do need help. But I have no idea what do I need help with except for the fact that I am struggling just on a day-to-day basis.

But I must say, I am holding it pretty well together so far. No meltdowns or breakdowns or some tyrannical backlash for a year.

Can’t say I can maintain this forever. Till when, I have no idea.

I just am very deadbeat. That, I know.

Sometimes I look at people all around me and I wonder, is their life as tough, as difficult, as trying as mine?

Well, if we are splitting hairs, I will never know exactly.

But then again, does it matter?

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