I haven’t written so much in a day since 3 years or even 4 years ago when I just started out on this.
But I realised that as the emotional, mental or even spiritual stress starts climbing up over my head, the more I will write.
And I am tired.
Over a span of the past half a year, I have felt more alive in ages. I also have felt even more tired than anything else in my entire life.
I have no idea how is that even possible but apparently it is.
I guess I am a person big enough to acknowledge the fact that I do need help. But I have no idea what do I need help with except for the fact that I am struggling just on a day-to-day basis.
But I must say, I am holding it pretty well together so far. No meltdowns or breakdowns or some tyrannical backlash for a year.
Can’t say I can maintain this forever. Till when, I have no idea.
I just am very deadbeat. That, I know.
Sometimes I look at people all around me and I wonder, is their life as tough, as difficult, as trying as mine?
Well, if we are splitting hairs, I will never know exactly.
But then again, does it matter?