I can’t wait to see what happens next! Oh, wait… yes I can.

King of States!

Did you have a day where it seemed as though everything you did was either wrong, or stupid, or shitty? Are you ending your night feeling like the world’s crappiest person?

If so, please come over and join my pity party. There is bourbon. I don’t like bourbon, so someone has to drink it. Thank you and good night.

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I found myself dreaming
In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie
That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight
And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we’re not promised tomorrow

So I’m gonna love you
Like I’m gonna lose you
I’m gonna hold you
Like I’m saying goodbye wherever we’re standing
I won’t take you for granted ’cause we’ll never know when
When we’ll run out of time so I’m gonna love you
Like I’m gonna lose you
I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you

Mom, Dad, I Got Something To Tell You: Things We (Teenagers) Wouldn’t Tell You (Parents)

Lhu

Hi Mom & Dad!

I wouldn’t tell you about that time I got into an argument with my friend, because all I’ll get is stick for not swallowing my pride, when the truth is that he betrayed me and stabbed me in the back, a bit like Hitler and Stalin, except that my friend’s tadpole sanctuary isn’t partially demolished. Yet.

I wouldn’t tell you about that time I splurged on that game I really wanted, because all I’ll get is a lecture on the importance of saving up, and how much financial trouble I will be in if I don’t work hard in school, when in reality, you promised I could have it a few months ago. How would you feel if I decided to so-called “change my mind” when my head was sticking out of your (censored; sorry if I didn’t censor it MDA wouldn’t allow this blog post to be shown…

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It’s easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today, but there will be dark days ahead of us too.
There will be days where you feel all alone and that’s when hope is needed most.
No matter how buried it gets or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold on to hope.
Keep it alive! We have to be greater than what we suffer..
My wish for you is to become hope.. People need that..
And even if we fail… what better way is there to live?
I know that we all think we’re immortal, we’re supposed to feel that way, we’re graduating. The future is and should be bright, but, like our brief four years in high school, what makes life valuable is that it doesn’t last forever, what makes it precious is that it ends. I know that now more than ever. And I say it today of all days to remind us that time is luck. So don’t waste it living someone else’s life, make yours count for something. Fight for what matters to you, no matter what. Because even if you fall short, what better way is there to live?
As we look around here today at all the people who helped make us who we are,
I know it feels like we’re saying goodbye but we will carry a piece of each other into everything we do next…
To remind us of who we are.. and if we were meant to be.

Murphy

I usually don’t really like posting links to other websites or to talk about these kind of stuffs or to even go websites like these kind. Because I feel like they usually are Facebook Clickbait or things like that.

But I happened to see this article on Thoughtcatalog

Why holding On Too Long Is The Right Thing To Do

I like this article, because despite people saying that you should stop if you are hurt, or you are taken for granted or you are getting your heartbroken every single day.

But honestly, I really like to differ. Honestly, how many things in life truly make you happy? If you really believe that you have in your heart a space for someone, then won’t that pain be something that you are doing it for them?

I always said that if at the end of the day, after all the pain and hurt, if you are able to tell yourself that all that was worth it, all the sadness and tears and heartbreaks and hurting and depression was worth it, then why not hold on?

How often are we able to find someone who loves us despite the hundred and one reasons that prove that we are unlovable?

If you truly feel for someone, then fight on. Press on. Soldier on. Fight till your last breath. Go and get your heart broken for the person that you love.

I live to feel myself in danger.

– Eric Cantona.

Life is very tiring nowadays. Trials after trials after trials in almost every single aspect of my life. But still, I am trying my best to hold on.

And a big reason for me to fight on is you. Despite all the fights that we had past few days, I still am very glad that you are still with me in all this, that I do not have to do this by myself. Thousand and one times I am thankful for you, and thousand and one times more I am grateful for you. You make my life feel like a dream sometimes, one that I never want to wake up from. And even when the nightmares come, you are a little light, a hope, a little fire of warmth that I cling on to.

And I am resolute, that I will fight for us. I will find us a path for us to take next, that we can move forward in the right direction together.

You are my inspiration. This entire week seems to test the limits of Murphy’s Law. But Murphy’s Law is no issue. You are my advocate, my barrister, my attorney.

I will hold on. And as long as I am, you will never lose me.

This, I promise.

 

Pause

I haven’t written so much in a day since 3 years or even 4 years ago when I just started out on this.

But I realised that as the emotional, mental or even spiritual stress starts climbing up over my head, the more I will write.

And I am tired.

Over a span of the past half a year, I have felt more alive in ages. I also have felt even more tired than anything else in my entire life.

I have no idea how is that even possible but apparently it is.

I guess I am a person big enough to acknowledge the fact that I do need help. But I have no idea what do I need help with except for the fact that I am struggling just on a day-to-day basis.

But I must say, I am holding it pretty well together so far. No meltdowns or breakdowns or some tyrannical backlash for a year.

Can’t say I can maintain this forever. Till when, I have no idea.

I just am very deadbeat. That, I know.

Sometimes I look at people all around me and I wonder, is their life as tough, as difficult, as trying as mine?

Well, if we are splitting hairs, I will never know exactly.

But then again, does it matter?