Life was a series of near misses. Car accidents dodged by quick reflexes. Railings that broke falls. Antibiotics. Seatbelts. Helmets. We should all be dead a hundred times over.
I found my little niche area of therapeutic treatment.
For me, words hold power beyond understanding, be it written or spoken.
Which is quite curious, isn’t it?
Try to imagine a world without words. Nothing spoken, nothing written.
Just obscure, guttural noises and messes on walls.
What a world that would be like.
I really am grateful for this little thing that I can hold on to. The words you have chosen are a conscious reminder to certain situations that are in. Still, I know I tread a dangerous path and I am quick to watch out that I do not fall into the past.
Look at my newest undertaking here.
I am starting a new project and continuing an old one. It’s the World On Wheels page seen above, or if you are lazy, then just here will do.
I missed doing projects and I absolutely loved doing them. I really enjoyed doing Project SY and the one which had to be stopped halfway, the Ninja Project.
This one is something that sees no end and one which I hope to do indefinitely as long as I am able to.
So, go ahead.
My heart bleeds blue, grey, pink and green.
For all the colours that I hoisted and the passions that I love, each I gave unto and each I paid for.
Some, more than others.
Some, longer than others.
Yes? Or no?
I don’t know.
The smallest part of me wants to say yes.
Yes, I am ready to be back fully and to throw myself headfirst into the thick of things. I am ready to be back in the field, to be back in the fires of war and to continue my old business.
But.. a smallest part of me wants to say no.
No, I am not ready. I can’t guarantee that I want to stay. Part of me wants to move on elsewhere, to say yes to other things at other places. To break free completely yet not without a tinge of remorse, shame and cowardice.
What do I do?
I am at a loss.
I miss doing what I do. And I desperately want to be back, to fight for the cause.
But part of me, still feels as if I am not ready.
Perhaps I still need to be more stubborn in the face of adversity.
I still am weak with many a ways to go.