Month January 2013
Mountain cow.
It’s Wednesday here.
I don’t know when, but since some time ago, I noticed this one thing about Wednesdays. About this.. thing.
All that is between, is a mere sheet of glass, a thin panel of wall. That is what stands between. But what is between is, is more than just there. There’s too many things. But they don’t belong anywhere. Nowhere to hide, nowhere to put, nowhere to throw. It’s just there. Invisible, yet present.
I guess I haven’t been feeling myself lately, being affected by random things of late. Seems like only by typing or reading, am I able to hold myself together.
Things have been slightly off. Was rushing quite a bunch of assignments for the last few days. Well, yesterday was an off for me.
We went around, had some sushi buffet and a movie. It was good though the movie was slightly draggy. It really helped to unwind me, otherwise right now, in the midst of this annoying assignment, I probably would have lost my sanity. So many errors and less-than-helpful explanations for those errors. Oh well. I guess I should just persevere till the end, March holidays is around the corner, sort of. 7 weeks long break. I think I’ll do nothing and just roll around in those 7 weeks or so. Probably getting a job or something will help combat the listlessness that comes along with long breaks.
Guess I’ll update more later after I’m finished with my struggle with this assignment for today. Till then. Tata.
Lots of love,
God bless,
Tona.
Passing.
Don’t you feel pressurized, doing the same thing, over and over again, every single day?
Don’t you want a change in your life, to break the chain?
We are all conforming. To society, to ourselves. Because that is how things work. To do the otherwise wouldn’t be advisable. Even if you don’t like it.
On days like this, you’re desperate for change. Even if you cried for help, the only response you get will be your cry echoed by those around you.
Press on.
In all of our own rights, we are always pretending to be someone we’re not. What shapes you? What shields you from the world?
We look back at the people who used to be a major part of our lives. And we can’t help but wonder, is it they who changed, or we who changed?
Is it that they changed, or is it their true self all along?
Today’s afternoon sun is blazing. It’s the kind of light that pierces your eyes and you can barely see anything clearly ahead of you.
I woke up today, challenging myself to do something, that I’ve been procrastinating for a few days. I can’t bring myself to do it, though. Maybe, the sting of rejection is worse than I thought it to be.
We live each day with experiences of frustrations whether big or small. Frustration as I know it comes from an unfulfilled goal because something is blocking or has blocked one’s path towards achieving it. Webster defines it as a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs. The Bible gives us one truth to defeat frustration: Living in faith. We need to realize that God has ideas and strategies that if we’ll just be patient and not quit…. The preacher mentioned that faith always works with patience, and when they work together a chronic problem can be turned into a perpetual blessing. If frustration is in any part of our life’s equation, expect a defeat along the way. The equation should be:
faith+patience+action = success
If we are in faith that the promises of God are coming true, and we’ll be patient…
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For all it’s worth.
I don’t know how to express this feeling inside of me. It feels bubbly and weird at the same time. It’s as if this feeling doesn’t belong to me and that it’s my first time feeling this. It’s feels foreign.
Some days, you just want things to go back to how they were before. But you can’t. The past stay in the past, that’s it. Frozen in time, they stay.
I really miss us. I miss our friendship. But seeing how we are already in 2013, and yet, we are still the same strangers. Seeing you, looking at the traces of you, I really miss our friendship. So many things have changed, so long since we last talked. But the feeling cannot be mistaken. It feels like..
If we ever be friends again, I feel that we can relate to one another immediately, that we can fit perfectly into each other’s lives like we used to be. I miss that. I really do.
You used to be someone who meant the world to me. But now, we seem to be of two different worlds.
Should worlds ever collide, I hope ours does.
Strangers with some memories, passerby with some attachment, neighbours of worlds apart.
A few posts below this, is one that reminded me of something I cannot undo.
When’s the last time you went without your phone?
I admit, I don’t recall. When we’re travelling, when was the last time you looked out at the passing vehicles?
Caught in our world of music and internet, what’s going to happen to the world we live in, the world around us?
Disentangle, please.
Plenty of people around me are able to impact me. More than I know it. In a subconscious way.
Some things shouldn’t be said, but they are, anyway.
Some things shouldn’t be heard, but they are, anyway.
Some things shouldn’t be done, but they are, anyway.
Does it matter?
We are so caught up in the daily ongoing in our lives, so much so that we forget that life exists not just within us, but around us as well.
The horrible truth is that most of us are naturally self-centered and selfish.
Think of the last time, you took some time to disengage yourself, and marvel at the things around you?
Increasingly, we see more and more, how is it that human nature changed.
We see things that people do, and we restore our faith in humanity.
Anything wrong with that sentence?
Yes. Every part of the sentence is wrong.
Why is it that we wait for others to restore our faith, and not we ourselves restoring the faith of others?
Do you ever think, that there is things that you can do, for the sake of humanity?
If you think, if you argue, if you seek to differ, if you claim that you can’t, that there is nothing that you can do, then you are more wrong than you think.
A spring in my step, with all the wintry around me.
Freezing like mad in here, but since I’m still waiting for people to be done with their DSAG lab test, so I’d figured out that I would have sometime to post a new post maybe!
Seems like I haven’t been posting much. But unlike my peers, who are busy mostly with their assignments and projects, I seem to be busy with other aspect in my life instead.
Not that I don’t have that much work, rather, I would like to see myself as a different kind of worker instead. I’m not the kind who works well with schedules, being more suitable with ad-hoc kind of situations. Only then can I feel the pressure and thus the need, the drive ad the motivation to really do my work. Swings both ways, frankly, if you ask me.
I guess right now, I still do have time to polish off my work. The ones that are due by this week are either submitted or pending presentation and the like.
Also, I’ve taken some time off yesterday to make a few changes to my WordPress. I always find Bible verses to be reassuring and applicable to anyone and everyone at any time, in every situation of their lives. There’s a list of… emergency Bible verses that might help, though the list could be longer, but I’m sure the page will be even less readable. I just don’t really like a page being ridiculously long.
Other than that, I also started something, perhaps I would call it a different take on prayer. Now if I do find the time, I’m going to update some of the prayers I have.
Now, prayer doesn’t have to be limited to only the verbal kind. You can draw them out, write them out, sing them out, dance them out even. I prefer to draw or write them out. What method of expression will be determined by yourself in question of course.
Well, seems like my writing style varied somewhat. Oh well.
I’m still waiting here, and this keyboard don’t really suit my taste, maybe thence the different style of writing. The ‘n’ key is pretty insensitive.
It’s really freezing.
Now I think back to yesterday, perhaps that moment yesterday, was probably one of the longest moment in my life that I had ever experienced. That moment. Oh how it felt like an eternity to me.
I should have plucked up my courage. But that being said by someone else, I guess at times we really do need to loosen our grip on certain things. I don’t think that it would be healthy to be obsessed about things. Well, most things anyway.
You’re different you know. You’re so much different as compared to others that I know. I don’t know why but you just render me weak and powerless the moment I see you, or even the moment when you are near me. It’s as if I’m forever cursed, or blessed, to be captivated, mesmerised by you.
Doesn’t sound too healthy, I know.
But if it goes away that easily, the feelings are less than real and I’m less than worthy.
I digress.
Oh well. Till then..
Lots of Love,
God bless,
Tona.
Aflame By His Light 